Easter Down Under... or how to alienate your neighbours!
Happy Easter everyone. I hope you all have a very safe and fun Easter. AND I trust you all remember the reason behind the celebration.
This post is a little different than the usual ones in that Shoey has written his version of events, and I've written my version of events. However, they are almost the same, that in itself is somthing of an enigma.
Shoey's version:
Today was like most Easter Sundays, we awakened at 5 am and got the kids their Easter presents and chocolate. Unfortunately this is where it started to deviate from most Easter Sundays, Darrion and Chad then began staging their packed bags out back so they could go with their biological father when he arrives to take them for a visit. He eventually showed up and off they went. Then, as I glanced out the back yard I observed a large black turkey wandering around our middle back yard, hmm…? So we headed out to herd it in to the enclosure, when Wendy observed she couldn’t see the other two (yesterday we bought a trio of what are supposed to be blue turkeys that are suspiciously close to bronze wing, oh well, they are, or were pretty plumed birds)…which would be the smaller hens. Which is a bit of worry. so we finally get this tom back into the enclosure by opening the gate and (while allowing the chickens, geese, turkeys and duck to wander out, it offered the opportunity for the ‘blue’ tom to run in to the offered enclosure. ) Done, no worries, we’ll cut his wings later, but there is no sight of the two hens…which means yet again we have lots of males, but no females.. hope they turn up soon, so I said to Wendy, “Feel like taking a drive?” So, while I tried seeing them in our neighbors yards, she got Reilly ready and then hollered to me they’re ready to go, so I grabbed my wallet and walked around corner and observed Reilly was in the pram. Oh well, I thought I heard some turkey chirps down hill so we started walking around the block, and sure enough, Wendy spotted them first in our neighbors backyard, scratching at the dirt. By this point it is just after 7 am on Sunday, Easter Sunday, so I ummed and ahhed about knocking on their door, but it WAS Easter, and I knew there were two small children, so I thought at least they’ll be awake today of all days, so I knocked on the front door, and of course everybody is in nightclothes, and explained the turkey was out back, Debbie said ‘Oh yeah, the kids had a surprise when going to find Easter eggs. We thought we’ll wait a bit cause it is a bit early to go telling you.’ (Oops), So with your permission…’sure go for it..do you need any help?’, naw should be all right…(famous last words). So I chased the hens around and around the shed and the cubby house, off the top of the cubby house round through some trees over a (passionfruit?) vine, under the (passionfruit?) vine, over the (passionfruit?) vine, on to the cubby house, off the cubby house under the tree over the (passionfruit?) vine (which was really getting annoying at this time). Debbie put on her shoes and came out saying something about rolling the camera for funniest home videos and helped me herd it in to their back-backyard, then, over fence into the O’Connors yard, then back toward the O’Connor house then up to our fence line (We’re breathing easier at this point cause it is roughly going according to plan). Then we herded the smaller one through the fence and the larger one opted to fly between the top wire and hinge joint, whew, now they’re back in our yard, I thought…almost done. So Wendy and I began herding them up toward the enclosure, the larger sorta cooperated and jumped up on top of the enclosure and the smaller flapped its way up onto the entertaining pergola. So I chose to go after the one near the enclosure, and come back to the other later. As I approached the enclosure, and I started to reach up, the bird turned and flew to the other end of the enclosure landing on the shelter, I walked around the West side and eventually we knocked it down in to the outer enclosure and then eventually herded it into the covered enclosure. At this point I grabbed the hoof trimmers and caught the turkeys already in the pen and Wendy and I trimmed the left wings of the tom and hen, I cut a bit too close on the hen and had blood all over my hands and leg..oh well she’ll be right. One down, one to go! The smaller hen was still on the peak of entertainment pergola so I grabbed the broom and as I lined it up it took off and flew over my head and to the house then up to the peak of the roof. Uh..not what I had in mind. So, how to get a turkey off the roof, it was quite wet from the dew and being a painted metal roof it would be very slick, so I won’t be walking on the roof, so that leaves throwing..what to throw…ummm….newspapers…so I gathered a weeks worth of newspapers and some clear tape and went around front of the house and threw up and tried to dislodge it, I missed with all but one, and then I was out. Time to reload. I went around and rolled up three weeks of newspapers and taped them tight and went back around and heaved, trying to bounce the newspaper so it is not a direct whack…but that didn’t work so I went for the all out smack..eventually I bothered it enough it took off. Fortunately it landed in our yard. Unfortunately it was a long ways up the yard..so off I ran along the street to head it off…I did eventually and hopped the fence to direct it back to the enclosure…it struggled in the thick weeds where none of our animals had been for months and then it hopped the fence into the main donkey paddock, which has been trodden and eaten quite heavily and it was off to the races then it was over the fence to the west side of the enclosure (almost done) then it ran over to the fence we share with a little lady whom I’ve never met, and her son named Jared, it struggled for a second, while I lobbed more newspapers at it trying to stun it, and then it was through with me right behind. This is where I ran to the front of the house to tell the owner I was in their yard. After a couple of knocks, there was no answer so I ran around back and started to corral it. it was going toward their chain link fence and I had a really good opportunity to end this circus, but it ran at the fence, dodged left then right flap flap over my hands and gone, then 15 meters at a fence, then over to the five foot solid colourbond fence and flap flap up and over and on to yet another neighbors garden shed. So, I stare at it for a minute, struggling internally with legalities and politics of hopping fences, of neighbors we have not yet met, and jogged around to front of yet another neighbors (number 3 for the day), house and knocked. At this point it is nearly, but not quite 8 am on Easter Sunday. Of course the fella came to the door in pretty casual attire, so I introduced myself and asked for permission to retrieve the turkey from his shed. He (Don is his name) consented and I ran around back and to the back fence and asked Wendy for the broom, she misunderstood me brought out long galvanized pole, oh well, so I waved it at the bird which I was really afraid would try to hop into a large evergreen in which case the newspaper throwing would commence, but it didn’t, it hopped onto the fence, and then I got a good poke at it and down into the other neighbors yard it fell, then I ran back through Dons yard then through grannys yard from the front then caught up with it as the bird struggled through the fence into our yard, then it started running East along the fence away from the enclosure and looking longingly at one of our neighbors yards I hadn’t scaled into today, perhaps it wanted me to upset all my neighbors. It was eyeing the neighbors yard closely so I hopped over circled and ran parallel to the bird while Wendy circled around and we tried to drive it in, at which point she realized Reilly was chasing the donkey and the gate was still open and Tamzin was getting out, so she ran over to close the gate and call Reilly out. Then the turkey hen went into the outer enclosure and I opened the covered pen so we could herd it in there and closed the outer pen creating a route right in to the covered enclosure, and I had yet another opportunity to end this circus but that was not to be, I thought I would get a little help from a white hen which got caught up in the outer enclosure and it pecked the turkey (which is about twice its size) when it got close, and I thought if it does that again I’ll be right onto it using the hen as a diversion, but they moved a part and I thought, now or never, and moved in for the grab when it flapped up and over the fence on top of the enclosure, then down the other side, then Wendy went around one way, and I around the other, and it was into Tamzins paddock, then I ran around and through the fence (Thank you for not turning on the electric fence) and cut it off and herded it back toward the enclosure from the West (again) then it struggled through the fence and Wendy hopped through from the other side and we had it fair between us and it started to go toward Wendy then back to me (Thank fully it didn’t go West again), but it went up and I just snatched its hind legs and with a triumphant grin realized I had left the door open to the enclosure and the other two turkeys were out again! So, with the turkey still flapping in my hands Wendy was cackling, although I don’t know if she really thought it was funny or cause something hit her funny bone…so I went around the enclosure and opened it up wide and with Wendy circling by the main garden and keeping between them and the neighbors fence and I along the North fence we started herding them back toward the enclosure and would you believe it? They went in? I held the hen while Wendy clipped both its wings short and then I let it go and closed the gate. 0818 Easter Sunday. The End.
MY version of events:
We got up at 0500hrs because the kids were due to be picked up at 0600. It was cold. The kids had a brief look at their presents (more small gifts than chocolate) and I took a few photo's of them and then we heard the car pull up. We said goodbye to Piddles and HotCheeks for a week and of course I was upset...you'd think by now I'd cope better, but I digress. We came inside and ate a Hot Cross Bun and talked about what we wanted to do today (tidy up, go to church etc). It was just daylight then and Shoey looked out the window and said "hey one of the turkey's is out". Yep. For the life of me I couldn't figure out how it got out until later when Shoey explained (why don't men think ahead???) that he left them in the enclosure that is only 4 feet high in place and has no roof or netting across the top!!! Huh??? Why would you leave birds (that he only bought yesterday and were according to the owner 'wild') in that sort of place overnight? Of course they are going to fly out (just having a dig at you Shoey!!!!). Anyway, we went out and sure enough, the big one was out in our backyard.... but the other two were no-where to be seen.
Shoey asked if we wanted to go for a drive or walk, so I duly got BamBam ready in his stroller for a walk to look for them. At the front of the house I heard the turkeys over in one of our neighbours yards... so we walked around.. its just after 0630am. We walked around the block and there they were... eating something or other in the neighbours backyard. (remember each of us has just over an acre of land around here, so it wasn't right next door and this was two houses away).
I gave some suggestions to Shoey, because I thought it was too early to go knocking on doors. I guess he struggled with that and went a-knocking. I was out on the footpath near the road though and had no idea where he was or what he was doing? Finally I heard her say "yeah, we saw them on the kids cubby this morning". Then Shoey disappeared. BamBam and I had no idea where he was, so after about 3 minutes we decided to come home. As we got home we saw Shoey and the lady (in her pajama's and slippers) chasing turkeys across the paddocks!!!!!!!!!!! One came in fairly easily.... although it didn't want to go into the enclosure. The other ended up on the roof of our house after a LOT (and I do mean a lot) of running on our part to get it back in the vicinity of our property.
Some people have rooster weather vanes... we had a live turkey. I will have some photo's and video's following this diatribe. How to get it down??? Throw something at it. Shoey rolled up some newspapers and threw and threw and threw. In the middle of me filming this BamBam let the dog out... so I had to dash and chase that darn thing..... and missed Shoey actually getting the turkey off the roof. Unfortunately it didn't quite go where it was supposed to (story of our lives!) and went into our other paddock (at least on our property). By the time I caught up Shoey was running full speed after it ... what a sight. Again the turkey didn't go where it was supposed to go and ended up in another neighbours yard, whereby Shoey chased it over their fence into ANOTHER neighbours (lets see that 4 neighbours so far) yard and onto their shed roof. Shoey is trying to knock on on door, but funnily enough that lady was on her back porch (she is 90 years old and her son Jared cares for her) in her nighty enjoying all the carrying-ons. Shoey never knew she was there the whole time... and he was in and out of her yard a few times!! No wonder she didn't answer the door! So then he had to go meet the fourth neighbour and ask if he could trespass to get his turkey!!!!
He called for me to bring something, I didn't hear, but I held up a pipe and he said yes... so I brought that, but he apparently said broom, and thought that was what I was holding... not to worry it did the job and the turkey was rather rudely shoved off the neighbours shed roof (I got part of that on film). Then Shoey was off again, chasing it back into our yard... where it came for a brief period, then decided that Tamzin's paddock (our donkey) was the go.... sheesh. So we were both running, laughing and trying to stop BamBam from chasing it in the wrong direction. After a lot of too and fro ing Shoey finally caught its legs as it flew up onto the enclosure. What a catch!
As he caught it he look and realised that he had left the enclosure open and yep, those two first ones had dashed out... so we had to round them up, in the process I had left the donkey gate open and Tamzin (with BamBam hot on her heels) was making a beeline for it... but I got there first...just. Disaster averted. For now.
All birds are back where they should be, well the turkeys anyway. The others are roaming free.
Phew... some people have Easter Egg hunts.... we have Turkey Hunts.
Incriminating evidence:
Our escape artist turkey on the 4th neighbour's shed.
Shoey's version:
Today was like most Easter Sundays, we awakened at 5 am and got the kids their Easter presents and chocolate. Unfortunately this is where it started to deviate from most Easter Sundays, Darrion and Chad then began staging their packed bags out back so they could go with their biological father when he arrives to take them for a visit. He eventually showed up and off they went. Then, as I glanced out the back yard I observed a large black turkey wandering around our middle back yard, hmm…? So we headed out to herd it in to the enclosure, when Wendy observed she couldn’t see the other two (yesterday we bought a trio of what are supposed to be blue turkeys that are suspiciously close to bronze wing, oh well, they are, or were pretty plumed birds)…which would be the smaller hens. Which is a bit of worry. so we finally get this tom back into the enclosure by opening the gate and (while allowing the chickens, geese, turkeys and duck to wander out, it offered the opportunity for the ‘blue’ tom to run in to the offered enclosure. ) Done, no worries, we’ll cut his wings later, but there is no sight of the two hens…which means yet again we have lots of males, but no females.. hope they turn up soon, so I said to Wendy, “Feel like taking a drive?” So, while I tried seeing them in our neighbors yards, she got Reilly ready and then hollered to me they’re ready to go, so I grabbed my wallet and walked around corner and observed Reilly was in the pram. Oh well, I thought I heard some turkey chirps down hill so we started walking around the block, and sure enough, Wendy spotted them first in our neighbors backyard, scratching at the dirt. By this point it is just after 7 am on Sunday, Easter Sunday, so I ummed and ahhed about knocking on their door, but it WAS Easter, and I knew there were two small children, so I thought at least they’ll be awake today of all days, so I knocked on the front door, and of course everybody is in nightclothes, and explained the turkey was out back, Debbie said ‘Oh yeah, the kids had a surprise when going to find Easter eggs. We thought we’ll wait a bit cause it is a bit early to go telling you.’ (Oops), So with your permission…’sure go for it..do you need any help?’, naw should be all right…(famous last words). So I chased the hens around and around the shed and the cubby house, off the top of the cubby house round through some trees over a (passionfruit?) vine, under the (passionfruit?) vine, over the (passionfruit?) vine, on to the cubby house, off the cubby house under the tree over the (passionfruit?) vine (which was really getting annoying at this time). Debbie put on her shoes and came out saying something about rolling the camera for funniest home videos and helped me herd it in to their back-backyard, then, over fence into the O’Connors yard, then back toward the O’Connor house then up to our fence line (We’re breathing easier at this point cause it is roughly going according to plan). Then we herded the smaller one through the fence and the larger one opted to fly between the top wire and hinge joint, whew, now they’re back in our yard, I thought…almost done. So Wendy and I began herding them up toward the enclosure, the larger sorta cooperated and jumped up on top of the enclosure and the smaller flapped its way up onto the entertaining pergola. So I chose to go after the one near the enclosure, and come back to the other later. As I approached the enclosure, and I started to reach up, the bird turned and flew to the other end of the enclosure landing on the shelter, I walked around the West side and eventually we knocked it down in to the outer enclosure and then eventually herded it into the covered enclosure. At this point I grabbed the hoof trimmers and caught the turkeys already in the pen and Wendy and I trimmed the left wings of the tom and hen, I cut a bit too close on the hen and had blood all over my hands and leg..oh well she’ll be right. One down, one to go! The smaller hen was still on the peak of entertainment pergola so I grabbed the broom and as I lined it up it took off and flew over my head and to the house then up to the peak of the roof. Uh..not what I had in mind. So, how to get a turkey off the roof, it was quite wet from the dew and being a painted metal roof it would be very slick, so I won’t be walking on the roof, so that leaves throwing..what to throw…ummm….newspapers…so I gathered a weeks worth of newspapers and some clear tape and went around front of the house and threw up and tried to dislodge it, I missed with all but one, and then I was out. Time to reload. I went around and rolled up three weeks of newspapers and taped them tight and went back around and heaved, trying to bounce the newspaper so it is not a direct whack…but that didn’t work so I went for the all out smack..eventually I bothered it enough it took off. Fortunately it landed in our yard. Unfortunately it was a long ways up the yard..so off I ran along the street to head it off…I did eventually and hopped the fence to direct it back to the enclosure…it struggled in the thick weeds where none of our animals had been for months and then it hopped the fence into the main donkey paddock, which has been trodden and eaten quite heavily and it was off to the races then it was over the fence to the west side of the enclosure (almost done) then it ran over to the fence we share with a little lady whom I’ve never met, and her son named Jared, it struggled for a second, while I lobbed more newspapers at it trying to stun it, and then it was through with me right behind. This is where I ran to the front of the house to tell the owner I was in their yard. After a couple of knocks, there was no answer so I ran around back and started to corral it. it was going toward their chain link fence and I had a really good opportunity to end this circus, but it ran at the fence, dodged left then right flap flap over my hands and gone, then 15 meters at a fence, then over to the five foot solid colourbond fence and flap flap up and over and on to yet another neighbors garden shed. So, I stare at it for a minute, struggling internally with legalities and politics of hopping fences, of neighbors we have not yet met, and jogged around to front of yet another neighbors (number 3 for the day), house and knocked. At this point it is nearly, but not quite 8 am on Easter Sunday. Of course the fella came to the door in pretty casual attire, so I introduced myself and asked for permission to retrieve the turkey from his shed. He (Don is his name) consented and I ran around back and to the back fence and asked Wendy for the broom, she misunderstood me brought out long galvanized pole, oh well, so I waved it at the bird which I was really afraid would try to hop into a large evergreen in which case the newspaper throwing would commence, but it didn’t, it hopped onto the fence, and then I got a good poke at it and down into the other neighbors yard it fell, then I ran back through Dons yard then through grannys yard from the front then caught up with it as the bird struggled through the fence into our yard, then it started running East along the fence away from the enclosure and looking longingly at one of our neighbors yards I hadn’t scaled into today, perhaps it wanted me to upset all my neighbors. It was eyeing the neighbors yard closely so I hopped over circled and ran parallel to the bird while Wendy circled around and we tried to drive it in, at which point she realized Reilly was chasing the donkey and the gate was still open and Tamzin was getting out, so she ran over to close the gate and call Reilly out. Then the turkey hen went into the outer enclosure and I opened the covered pen so we could herd it in there and closed the outer pen creating a route right in to the covered enclosure, and I had yet another opportunity to end this circus but that was not to be, I thought I would get a little help from a white hen which got caught up in the outer enclosure and it pecked the turkey (which is about twice its size) when it got close, and I thought if it does that again I’ll be right onto it using the hen as a diversion, but they moved a part and I thought, now or never, and moved in for the grab when it flapped up and over the fence on top of the enclosure, then down the other side, then Wendy went around one way, and I around the other, and it was into Tamzins paddock, then I ran around and through the fence (Thank you for not turning on the electric fence) and cut it off and herded it back toward the enclosure from the West (again) then it struggled through the fence and Wendy hopped through from the other side and we had it fair between us and it started to go toward Wendy then back to me (Thank fully it didn’t go West again), but it went up and I just snatched its hind legs and with a triumphant grin realized I had left the door open to the enclosure and the other two turkeys were out again! So, with the turkey still flapping in my hands Wendy was cackling, although I don’t know if she really thought it was funny or cause something hit her funny bone…so I went around the enclosure and opened it up wide and with Wendy circling by the main garden and keeping between them and the neighbors fence and I along the North fence we started herding them back toward the enclosure and would you believe it? They went in? I held the hen while Wendy clipped both its wings short and then I let it go and closed the gate. 0818 Easter Sunday. The End.
MY version of events:
We got up at 0500hrs because the kids were due to be picked up at 0600. It was cold. The kids had a brief look at their presents (more small gifts than chocolate) and I took a few photo's of them and then we heard the car pull up. We said goodbye to Piddles and HotCheeks for a week and of course I was upset...you'd think by now I'd cope better, but I digress. We came inside and ate a Hot Cross Bun and talked about what we wanted to do today (tidy up, go to church etc). It was just daylight then and Shoey looked out the window and said "hey one of the turkey's is out". Yep. For the life of me I couldn't figure out how it got out until later when Shoey explained (why don't men think ahead???) that he left them in the enclosure that is only 4 feet high in place and has no roof or netting across the top!!! Huh??? Why would you leave birds (that he only bought yesterday and were according to the owner 'wild') in that sort of place overnight? Of course they are going to fly out (just having a dig at you Shoey!!!!). Anyway, we went out and sure enough, the big one was out in our backyard.... but the other two were no-where to be seen.
Shoey asked if we wanted to go for a drive or walk, so I duly got BamBam ready in his stroller for a walk to look for them. At the front of the house I heard the turkeys over in one of our neighbours yards... so we walked around.. its just after 0630am. We walked around the block and there they were... eating something or other in the neighbours backyard. (remember each of us has just over an acre of land around here, so it wasn't right next door and this was two houses away).
I gave some suggestions to Shoey, because I thought it was too early to go knocking on doors. I guess he struggled with that and went a-knocking. I was out on the footpath near the road though and had no idea where he was or what he was doing? Finally I heard her say "yeah, we saw them on the kids cubby this morning". Then Shoey disappeared. BamBam and I had no idea where he was, so after about 3 minutes we decided to come home. As we got home we saw Shoey and the lady (in her pajama's and slippers) chasing turkeys across the paddocks!!!!!!!!!!! One came in fairly easily.... although it didn't want to go into the enclosure. The other ended up on the roof of our house after a LOT (and I do mean a lot) of running on our part to get it back in the vicinity of our property.
Some people have rooster weather vanes... we had a live turkey. I will have some photo's and video's following this diatribe. How to get it down??? Throw something at it. Shoey rolled up some newspapers and threw and threw and threw. In the middle of me filming this BamBam let the dog out... so I had to dash and chase that darn thing..... and missed Shoey actually getting the turkey off the roof. Unfortunately it didn't quite go where it was supposed to (story of our lives!) and went into our other paddock (at least on our property). By the time I caught up Shoey was running full speed after it ... what a sight. Again the turkey didn't go where it was supposed to go and ended up in another neighbours yard, whereby Shoey chased it over their fence into ANOTHER neighbours (lets see that 4 neighbours so far) yard and onto their shed roof. Shoey is trying to knock on on door, but funnily enough that lady was on her back porch (she is 90 years old and her son Jared cares for her) in her nighty enjoying all the carrying-ons. Shoey never knew she was there the whole time... and he was in and out of her yard a few times!! No wonder she didn't answer the door! So then he had to go meet the fourth neighbour and ask if he could trespass to get his turkey!!!!
He called for me to bring something, I didn't hear, but I held up a pipe and he said yes... so I brought that, but he apparently said broom, and thought that was what I was holding... not to worry it did the job and the turkey was rather rudely shoved off the neighbours shed roof (I got part of that on film). Then Shoey was off again, chasing it back into our yard... where it came for a brief period, then decided that Tamzin's paddock (our donkey) was the go.... sheesh. So we were both running, laughing and trying to stop BamBam from chasing it in the wrong direction. After a lot of too and fro ing Shoey finally caught its legs as it flew up onto the enclosure. What a catch!
As he caught it he look and realised that he had left the enclosure open and yep, those two first ones had dashed out... so we had to round them up, in the process I had left the donkey gate open and Tamzin (with BamBam hot on her heels) was making a beeline for it... but I got there first...just. Disaster averted. For now.
All birds are back where they should be, well the turkeys anyway. The others are roaming free.
Phew... some people have Easter Egg hunts.... we have Turkey Hunts.
Incriminating evidence:
A lizard Shoey found in the garden today.
Our escape artist turkey on the 4th neighbour's shed.
Tamzin the donkey.
Shoey playing with cut feathers.
BamBam measuring (with his new Easter measuring tape) one of the pumpkins.
HotCheeks pumpkin that is still growing. My slipper is near it to show the size.
The Escape Artist on our roof.
Tom.
Still on the roof!
Its hard to see, but the Escape Artist is way back there on the 4th neighbours shed roof.
BamBam, Piddles and HotCheeks on Easter Morning.
Again hard to see, but the Escape Artist is on our house roof.
And now we cross live to the video footage.
Easter Sunday 2007
posted by The Funny Farm @ 2:25 PM
3 comments
3 Comments:
Love your escapades. You have named your blog site very correctly. Love all you guys.
Mom
Yes, Mom, what a great name for this incredibly funny farm. Though probably not funny at the time, it was an amusing read! Heehee!
I love that you found time in the chaos to photographically record the insanity! A true blogger!
Sadly I cannot see the videos yet. When Broadband is back to working faster!
What a fiasco!!! I'm glad you got those turkeys back where they should be. It's always wonderful to see BamBam in action too. You should put a video clip of the donkey up. I'd love to see him. He looks cute in the photo you posted. Glad to hear things returned to "normal"... or as normal as it can get on a funny farm.
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